I remembered this little printshop in Pennsylvania which can definitely help you out in the silkscreen. They do everything
Here is the link
What I would suggest is to go to Kinko's and ask them to print your logo on a transparent sheet. This way, much cheaper and nobody will know the difference and will look as if it was printer directly on your drum skin.
Stick to your position. Challenge them back. Tell them girls wear whatever they want, and guys should have the same freedoms. Tell them that as long as you are keeping it under control, and not wearing anything ridiculous then what's the harm? Then tell them you don't plan on changing.
If they ask if you're gay, then say not at all. Are all girls who wear pants lesbians?